So I just asked my mom to take me to a doctor for depression and she said no. She said god would help me through it…… are you a fucking idiot. Yes some unknown man from the fucking sky will come down here and solve all my fucking problems and anxieties. She then said let me pray for you. I said no she said please. I said no and walked out of the room. 

So I guess me attempting suicide a few times is no big deal. Me walking around with dreadful thoughts around me is no big deal. When people ask me what I want to be I think how should I fucking know. I was not made to be here in all honesty. I’m good at nothing, I fuck everything up as soon as anything even happens. I fuck school up. I fucking hate “friends” which in all honestly lets fucking face it we really have no friends. No one gives a shit about each other. Money , Clothes , War , Killing…lets face it it’s more important the love we desire to find from everyone throughout our lives. 

I have to walk around with a fucking smile plastered on my face every fucking day because I can’t fucking face death. I am pathetic . I think oh they’ll miss me I’m such a difference in their life. No actually I am not. I will be forgotten soon and I won’t be remembered after my pathetic existence because lets face it I’m not fucking lady gaga.